So...I'm still in Vermont. Nothing as exciting as traveling down the west coast via bikes/hitching is happening, so I'm slacking on my blogger duties. Whatever...story of my life. There are THINGS that are happening and I AM enjoying my life out here...a lot actually. The stories could be categorized as dull but again...whatever. My mom will read this and tell me how great I am. So THIS ONE'S FOR YOU MA!
I'm spending my days teetring between shut-in and proactive job seeker. Most days my Netflix instant play cue proves to be a BIT too formidable of a foe and I never end up putting pants on. People in New England live in fucking barns without insulation, so their homes are freezing. Though I'm not living in a barn, my home is probably about as heat efficient as a paper lunch sack. My crazy landlord (trust me, she's a JOB) doesn't believe in winterizing or hiring a handy man so all the work of weather proofing the house has fallen in my unqualified lap. A little background on Batty Hattie...she's about a million years old, lives in Massachusetts, has no business owning or renting property, probably sacrifices small animals in her spare time and is against nuclear power (as the bumper stickers/decals on her car would suggest). Any information beyond that is just not necessary. She's crazy. She shows up whenever she feels like it...usually when we DON'T need her and is mysteriously absent when a situation that requires her attention arises. On the subject of inefficiency, I informed Hattie about a GIANT crack in our front door that was sucking all the goddamn heat out of our apartment at an alarming rate, as well as, all the old school heat grates that were creating drafts. What did she do? Did she hire someone to come out and look it over, did she come out HERSELF and fix it? Did she respond with concern and care? No...the bitch dropped off some plastic sheeting, a putty knife and some spackle. This was after she insisted I go look in her storage area TWICE for the materials. I spent a solid day trying to seal up all the spots in the hopes of conserving some heat. Our heat is all electric. It's either on or off...no real "settings" to speak of. Sooooo when we got our bill this month and saw the $350 price tag me and Jo took a shit in our collective pants and sprang into action trying to figure out what the fuck to do.
So far....nothing has happened. Hattie is over in Mass performing a frontal lobotomy on herself, while me and Jo scramble to try and get the state to come out and weatherize the house and see if we qualify for fuel assistance. Turns out we won't be able to get anything in form of weatherization assistance until next winter, long after we don't live there and have likely burned down the house and are in prison for ALLEGED arson.
In the mean time, I'm doing lots of layers, wool socks and glowing space heaters that I can use as a tanning bed and reading lamp. That should save on the bill. While I boast about being a hard ass from MN, I'm fucking freezing...all the time. The thing about MN is we actually heat our homes and if we can't it's still illegal to shut off the fucking heat. Here in VT people are just used to being cold all winter. You tell me what's worse? Jo is a straight up gangster...never has the heat on in her room and never complains. I'm a complete pussy compared to her...but whatever, I have other qualities. I'm considering being fat again because with a 3 inch layer of lard encasing my body I was like my own source of sustainable energy. Government grants were being drafted about ways the U.S. government could harness the raw energy of the heat I produced. Now that I'm getting "healthy" and "exercising" I can't feel my fucking hands...ever. Even now...as I type...my shit is on auto pilot. I could bite my pinky off and probably not feel it.
In other news I haven't ridden my damn bike in a while...the hills around here are daunting on a fixed gear and I lack brakes still. Maybe when the weather is nice and I can sport my short shorts I'll hop back on. I'm sort of waiting for the spring to roll around so I can scope out the police auction and score some crime scene loot. Namely in the form of a bicycle with gears. Hopefully at that point I'll have a job that allows me such FRIVOLITIES. Had some promising interviews with some great organizations, blah blah blah. I'll be subbing at the school Jo works at...doing I don't know what, but I have to go get fingerprinted at the police station today so that feels official sounding. Maybe they think I have a record and want the dirt without the awkward situation of asking me.
What else, what else? I'm making friends...actually the friends are a huge reason I'm loving this place. They're all real quirky and genuine. I went dancing with them freakies Saturday...it was a spectacle I hope gets repeated often. In a small town, good dancers are a hot commodity...so needless to say I was gettin' CHEEEECKED OUT. Ok...maybe not, but whatever you're not here so you don't know, fucker.
I've over stayed my welcome at this cafe. $1.60 worth of coffee for 4 hours of wi-fi use. Seems fair to me, but...whatever.
Until I'm bored enough to update you on my regular ass life again...
Maggie
P.S. Sorry no pictures...they want money and I'm just not down with capitalism man.
P.P.S. Between the years of 1980-1985ish parents only named their daughters "Sarah". I've met like 7 or 8 since moving here. Way to go New England.
