Thursday, October 14, 2010

Avenue of the Giants...and at least one jackass.

Hello all the fine people of the world,
We are currently having a rest in the city of Garberville, CA,  last night we spent a so-so evening in the Dean Creek RV park just at the end of the Avenue of the Giants.  Avenue of the Giants, or the Avenue as the locals call it, is a 31 mile stretch of road that detours you through some AMAZING giant Redwood trees.  It was pretty magical and something I had been waiting most of the trip to see.
Just at the begging of "The Avenue"
From what we'd  been hearing the Avenue was going to be a nice, calm, relaxing and flat ride through ancient redwoods, but it turned out to be quite the feat.  There were some gnarly hill climbs, most of which were relaxing grades, but seemed to go and go and go FOREVER.  On top of that there wasn't much to be said for the bike lane, which was not so bad because there isn't a ton of traffic, but when you got into the towns that were peppered throughout the road you ran into more hustle and bustle...more on that later.
Again...lacking proper bike lanes
One stretch of nicely defined lanes
The Avenue wasn't lacking in the breathtaking views department, when you weren't cocooned by trees, there were awesome vistas overlooking the river that were straight out of a postcard or from a John Wayne movie, it was kinda crazy.  There were a few eyesores though, like the dilapidated logging site or the remnants of humans (i.e. trash, glass, McDonald's bags), but overall it was quite magical. I shed a tear for the redwoods just like that native guy from the commercials in the 70's.
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This is the vegetable stand that was a few miles into the avenue, they sold homegrown organic produce in the fields just behind it and we stocked up since it was so cheap and SOOOOO GOOD.  This stand pretty much comprised the whole town of Pepperwood, which was apparently quite robust in it's hayday until 2 floods wiped it out and no one really had the heart to rebuild.  The land that Pepperwood was on apparently was prairie about 50 years ago, used for farming and what not, but the redwood foundation bought it all up and planted a bunch of new redwoods. The vegetable stand lady was kind of losing me at this point in her soapbox rant and as politely as I could I said "Well, hope it all turns out ok" and quickly pedaled off...there was still so much to see.
 Me and Tamara decided to pay $3 to bike through a tree, something I immediately regretted doing, but oh well, when will I be able to that again?  Never, cuz I'm not paying again.  Lani ended up getting in for free since she didn't really care and the guy just let her through...DAMMIT.
 This was basically the coolest part of the ride...this huge dead tree.  I nearly missed it coming down a huge hill, but I slammed on my breaks and we all climbed in for a quick photo sesh.  I'm sure it's a lovely home to several of the Redwood Forests fuzzy animals.  Lani also made this stop her second open air pee of the day.  She had peed in plain sight when we stopped for lunch a few miles before and then again here...this time I took it upon myself to learn her SOME ETIQUETTE...and I took a picture.  I quickly deleted them, but I wasn't about to let that kind of shenanigans go unnoticed.  What's the lesson Lani? Don't pee in Maggie's line of sight when she has a handlebar mounted camera within arms reach.  Well done.

 The forest seemed to go on forever and soon we were losing daylight without any solid sleeping plans for the night...so we quickly trudged on trying to at least complete the avenue and get to a town.  All the campsites along the road were INSANELY expensive, even this late in the season.  It's ludicrous.
 It took all day to bike because we kept stopping to look at stuff or talk to people or be jackasses and in Lani's case to pee...a lot. Tiny bladder.
 The trees were so tall that I couldn't even look all the way up to see the top because my helmet kept jamming in the back of my neck and then I would lose my balance and my bike would swerve all crazy like I was drunk or handicapped.
Check us out...we're ridin' bikes


"I paid $3 for this picture...idiot"
Look close...the moon is out...shit.

Tree huggers.
Only about 200 miles til Frisco...woooohooooo!!
So we get to just about the end of the Avenue and we're heading through the last of the tiny towns, we're tired, the sun is setting, we don't know where we'll sleep, but we keep on going because that's the only option.  We're just at the edge of this tiny town called Miranda when all of the sudden some redneck in a pick up shouts at me "GET OFF THE FUCKING ROAD" Which was difficult since I was already on the tiny patch of asphalt that comprised the bike lane and I didn't know what other options I had.  Not to mention they we're only inches of hitting me.  He flicks me off, I reciprocate and we both just go along our merry way...or do we?  I'm all steamed up, because ever since we got to Cali it's been tons and tons of hostility towards bikers and there seems to be no real reason other than macho chauvinistic "this is my road" bullshit.  Anyways...not 5 minutes later the pick up is coming back, going the other direction and this time I get the DOUBLE FLICK OF...to which I just shook my head and laughed at him, because SERIOUSLY...you're going to turn around just to flick me off again...not only is it childish, but it's redundant...at least come up with something new man.  Mind you...Lani and Tamara are behind me and are receiving none of this treatment...only me??  Just when you think it's over...the chode COMES BACK AGAIN!!!  This time from behind me and speeds past me at about 45 mph, missing me by inches, while HONKING and SPITS ON ME!!?!?!?!?! I mean...get a fucking life.  At that point I was beginning to lose my nerve and started to fear for my safety.  We pulled off at the next town and chilled for a while in the hopes that he would just fuck off already.  I mean...I guess I would be sad too if I lived in a tiny shit ass town and my only form of entertainment was hassling friendly bikers that occupy less than 1/10th of the road.  I'm sure the generation upon generation of inbreeding doesn't allow him to think much beyond "deeeeer, go fast, dis time imma spit on her, Cletus" 

Aside from that minor inconvenience the avenue was awesome and at least it's a good story now, although I'm ready to be in a more major city, since that incident I've told a few of the locals about it and they all have responded with "why didn't you shoot him?".  Umm...yeah...I'll murder someone for being an asshole. It's not so much the fact that they wanted me to seek revenge, it's the assumption that I travel via bike brandishing a 9mm.  Maybe I should have let Billy Mac buy me that gun?  NAAAW...bear mace.  Ready for San Fran, only 200 more miles.

Just Keep Pedaling,

Maggie

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